by Becky DeStigter

Few of us can successfully work long-term with a person who you feel constantly disrespects you. And yet the combination of words, actions and non-verbal cues that are interpreted as respect or disrespect vary greatly from culture to culture. In Thailand, the "wai" is a specific set of greetings and slight bow with folded hands. It shows respect and particularly respect for the elder of the two people. In Spain, a business contact may show respect by asking about your health and also inquiring about your family. In some places, it is respectful to haggle extensively over a purchase, while in other cultures consider this insulting. There are cultures where businessmen and women consider it respectful to be treated equally in all ways, while still other cultures show respect by acknowledging gender differences both verbally and non-verbally.

The trick is to know how your actions and words will be interpreted by important stakeholders to your international operations. Saying or doing the wrong thing could rip apart a fledgling business relationship. Here are some ways to stay out of hot water:

Do Your Cultural Homework

Before meeting with a new international contact, do some basic research on what is particularly disrespectful in your counterpart's culture. In Saudi Arabia, you should know not to show the soles of your shoes. In the Philippines, you should know not to treat a higher-ranking person in the company as your equal. And in the U.S., you should know never to assume that the oldest male in the room is the boss. In today's global business environment, there is no excuse for being unprepared.

Know Who to Ask

Even with preparation, sometimes a person's reaction conveys that he or she feels disrespected. In many cultures, particularly those who value emotional control, it may be hard to tell. It may be subtle changes like their tone might go flat when previously animated or high levels of eye contact that now express disinterest. It may be a negotiating technique, but to be on the safe side it is better to investigate the reason. In direct communicating cultures such as Australia, U.S., Netherlands and Germany, the most respectful approach is to ask the person if you have offended them in some way. But the direct approach will backfire in places like Japan, Ghana and Indonesia, where saving face is a cultural priority. To avoid embarrassment and show proper respect, you will privately want to consult with someone close to the potentially offended person and ask if something is wrong. Whether you need to ask directly or indirectly, quickly addressing the issue can snuff out the ignition before it reaches the gun powder.

Declare Mia Culpa

In most situations, being culturally self-righteous can risk ruining an otherwise promising business relationship. Instead of taking a cultural misunderstanding personally, it is normally better to apologize, forgive and move on for the sake of the deal.

Be Slow to Take Offense

When friction surfaces around respect issues, take pause before reacting. What is this person's intention? Normally people don't realize when they have crossed a cultural boundary. Entering international markets and forging new business relationships requires a thickening of skin and lots of diplomacy.